A Place to Hide

Have you ever had a day start off with fighting kids and you wanting to find a place to hide?  A place of solace and quiet?  That was how my day started today.  

As a young girl I lived in apartments.  I lived in an apartment building all my life until I met my husband.  I always dreamed of having my own tree house or playhouse but since I lived in an apartment building that was not something I could ever have.  Now being a home owner and a mother of two, there are days I wish I had a place to escape for a little while to have some peace and quiet and spend quality time with God.

On my wish list I would love to have a little place in our back yard where I could go year-round (so it would need to have a heater and air conditioner) to have my own space.  Am I too old to have my own playhouse?  My ideal space would look like a shed on the outside and a comfortable one room space on the inside.  I can picture either a chaise lounger or an oversized recliner in there with a small table beside it where I could place my study materials.  I'd also love to bring out a cd player to put on some soothing/calming music.  Book shelves would also be a must.

Either of these would be nice and simple.  Of course my choice of colors or stains probably wouldn't match either of these.  Have you ever longed for a small space to call your own?  Somewhere nobody would bug you if even for just 30 minutes?  I used to say it was my bathroom but since the girls have been able to walk and talk, I couldn't go in there and not have a hand under the door or someone knocking on the door.  Though I love these days, I just want somewhere to cry or scream and not have someone look at me like I may be losing it or having a nervous breakdown.  I don't even have a closet to go into.  

Matthew 6:5-6New King James Version (NKJV) 

The Model Prayer 

5 “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place;and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."

These verses tell us to go into a room and shut the door and pray to our Father in Heaven.  Even when Jesus walked the earth He took time away from everything and everyone.  He urges us to be alone with Him too.

Are you Magnetic?

I'm sure someone wants to know what I mean by my title for today.  Lately I've been reading a book titled Magnetic.  It's meant for teen girls and young ladies in their 20s.  Though that is the intended audience I have learned so much from it.  Lynn Cowell is an amazing author and I am praying that her book will reach all women.

What do you think of when you hear the word magnetic?  I think of things being attracted to it.

Merriam-Webster's Definition: possessing an extraordinary power or ability to attract <a magnetic personality>

What traits would you think of when you think of a magnetic person? Maybe you would like to check out Lynn Cowell's Post on Facebook. When I think of a magnetic personality or person, someone that would draw me to her I think of things like: loving, compassionate, giving, honest, and full of joy.

One of my favorite quotes from Lynn's new book Magnetic is: "Gorgeous is much more than a face in the mirror. Gorgeous is not skin deep but heart deep, a beauty that develops as my heart discovers and returns true love." Today women aren't portrayed as beautiful unless they are a small size, have flawless skin, and walk out of their home with makeup on. I would rather strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman or dress in my best as Galatians 5:22 & 23 state.

These are all wonderful traits to have and would make any woman magnetic.  She would be someone that is there for you but loves God and her family more than anyone.  She would take time for you and really listen to you when you talk.  She would be full of joy, always looking on the bright side, and a lot of fun to be with.  No complaining would come from her and she would lift you up in prayer.  I'm not sure if such an amazing woman exists in one person but true beauty comes from within.  It may be traits you find in several different women all combined.  

I'm going to strive to be magnetic and I pray that God's light will shine through me for others to see.  I want to strive to be loving, joyful, peaceful, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and be self-controlled.  I know I can't be that woman without God's help.  If you read this, please pray for me.  I will be praying for all of you that may come across this post.  God bless!  

Back at it.

I took a much needed break from social media.  It has been a big time waster in my life and it felt good to have a break from the negativity that sometimes comes with being active on it.  I wanted to check it every day and now I think I could go several days without checking it if I wanted to but right now I am going to try to help some friends launch their books and for now will stay a part of twitter, facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.  I will just put limits on my time.

When it comes to social media I have some rules I want to follow.  I only want my posts to be uplifting and God honoring.  I don't want to post a bunch of negative things or something that might be considered as something that would not honor God.  So...if I would not want to talk to someone in person about it or if Jesus was sitting beside me while I typed it and He would disapprove of it...I will not post it.

I want to turn my facebook into faithbook.

What do you do on social media?  Do you actually read everything on facebook?  Are you actually friends with everyone?  Do you interact with everyone or are they just a number on your "friends" list?

I know there are some good things about social media as well but I was having a hard time finding them until now.  I have met some amazing christian women on there and even if we never meet while we are here on earth I have the promise that we will meet one day in Heaven.

Are you ready to make facebook your faithbook?

Learning More About Myself

When I received my copy of The Cure for the "Perfect" Life I knew it would be a good read but wasn't sure I would learn anything from it.  I'm an imperfect wife, mom, friend, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, person...not in search of a cure.  This book can't cure you of perfectionism but it sure can bring things to light for you.

Inside the pages of this book you will find several quizzes that will help you learn new and wonderful things about who you are.  You will find yourself relating to others that have shared stories from their lives as well.  It's always nice to know that we aren't alone.  God says He is always with us but when we realize that He has placed others on this earth that have gone, are going, or will be going through similar situations to ours it gives us a sense of hope.  Life is better when it's shared with friends.

If you'd like to take a quiz to get you started, you can follow this link and find out what type of rebel you are.  What Type of Rebel Are You?  Maybe you'd like to read the first chapter.  If so, you can find Chapter 1 here.

When I took the test it said I was an Amiable Rebel but I also relate well with the Analytic Rebel.  I tend to put others before myself and feel burnt out a lot.  I'm learning how to not say yes all of the time and carve more me time out of the day. 

Both Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory have written this book from their hearts making them vulnerable to us, their readers.  They quote on the back of their book..."The truth is you don't have to be perfect.  You just have to be brave enough to read this book."  I love that quote.  We aren't called to be perfect.  Don't let the P Bullies get you down.  What are the P Bullies?  They are perfectionism, performancism, procrastination, and people-pleasing.  

I have been known to procrastinate, perform, and please people with thinking I need to do things perfectly.  That's a tough way to live!

On Tuesday I was getting ready for the bible study I've been leading with girls in 6th through 12th grades this summer.  I was in charge of getting a craft together for them to do after we complete the study.  We made composition notebooks decorated with scrap-booking papers and ribbon.  They turned out beautifully.  How does this relate to any of the P Bullies? 1.  I didn't get a sample made as I had said I would.  2. On the way to bible study I finally made time to pick up the tape dispensers and glue sticks for the glue gun to use on the projects.  3. By not completing a sample I didn't take into account the amount of time it could potentially take which made me late for our church board meeting.  (Thankfully bible study and the meeting were both in the same building, the church.)  I'm grateful that my two friends that are helping me gave me grace.  The girls had a blast creating their own works of art.  Nobody really cared but in my eyes I had failed again.

After bible study and the church board meeting I felt like the P Bullies had gotten the best of me and then I came across this quote on perfectionism.  I thought this would be a good time and place to share it.

It's so true.  It is an illusion and you will find yourself feeling unfulfilled if you seek to always be "perfect".  Why not just live to be the person God created you to be?  He is perfect and one day we can all be perfect when we meet Him in heaven.

Until heaven we will remain a work in progress.  Don't try to be someone you're not.  Don't let others get inside your head and try to change you into who they want you to be.  Be your beautiful self.  Choose to be happy, have fun, and say no sometimes.

If you take a moment and stop by the facebook page for The Cure for the "Perfect" Life called Tiny Acts of Rebellion you will find some friends that you will be able to relate with.  You can also enter a giveaway for a beautiful necklace.  (See picture below.)

If you'd like to purchase a copy of this amazing book, you can find this book at:

Amazon.com

Barnes and Noble

Christian Book Distributors

Family Christian Stores

You will probably want to pick up more than one copy so you can share your experience with a friend.  Having a Bravery Buddy is highly recommended.

Taking Time to Breathe

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you just needed to step back and take a deep breath?  That's the point I am at.  I'm taking that step back and just living life.  I'm logging off of facebook for a while so I can enjoy my family and what is left of summer.  My to-do list may be too long to accomplish in my last month off of work but even if everything doesn't get done I'm not going to have any regrets because I will be spending priceless time with my daughters and husband.

What do you like to do when you have down time?  I love to read and work on my many craft projects.  I've recently decided to get in on the latest buzz of re-purposing.  If I had known things from my childhood would be labeled as "vintage" now I would never have thrown some of those things.  I'm only 36 years old.  I guess my definition of vintage is not the same as many others.  I do have to admit though...in my teenage years I loved the show "From Trash to Treasure".  I even had a couple of books that guided me as I changed what some would call trash into new treasures for myself or a gift for someone else.  

Both reading and working on my crafting projects help me to relax and clear my head.  Reading the Bible and taking walks also help me.  I tend to meditate on His word quite a bit during the day.  He wants us to hide His word in our hearts.  When we don't have the Bible in our hands to read we rely on His word that we have stored in our hearts.  I carry a scripture keeper in my purse.  It contains several different verses that I haven't memorized yet.  It comes in handy for when I am sitting in my car waiting for my kids or when I just have time to kill.

Here is a picture of the one I purchased from Etsy.

I'll be praying for each of you that reads this.  May God bless you with and through His word!

Psalm 119:11New King James Version (NKJV)

11 Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.

A Time of Remembrance

There are some days where it is a blessing to have facebook but others when I wish I had never signed up.  Today is one of those days.  I unplugged from facebook for the weekend thinking I could catch up with everyone today.  The first thing I see when I open facebook is seeing that someone I knew and loved had passed from this life to Heaven.  Though I knew it was coming, I didn't want to find out through facebook.  Today I found out about a classmates sister passing away as well as a dear friend and coworker.  Why is facebook the place to announce these things?

Yesterday marked the 14th anniversary of the death of a young lady so full of life.  It feels like yesterday that accident happened.  She was attending college to become a RN.  She loved God and His people!  She was such a joy to know.  She always had a smile on her face.  She was 19 years old.  She was just out rollerblading and was hit by a truck.  Such a sad story but an accident none the less.  God was already working in and through her.

God had a plan for her grandpa, age 91, to meet her again on the anniversary of her death.  It was no coincidence that it was the same day 14 years apart or that she was 19 and he was 91.  I can picture them dancing in Heaven together.  Both happy and complete.

Though our hearts break when we lose a loved one we usually have the hope of seeing them again in Heaven.  

If you or a loved one are not a believer, please take a moment to look at these verses.

Here is a great place to look these up.  I would recommend the New Living Translation (NLT) or New International Version (NIV) for those that don't usually read the bible.  I prefer the New King James Version (NKJV).

Bible Gateway or Bible Hub

I love both of these websites!  I'll be praying for all who read this post.  God Bless!

Love

This chapter has really hit home.  What is love?  Who is love?  What does love look like?  What does love look like to me?  So many questions and so many convictions.

"There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  ~ 1 John 4:18 (NIV)

The New Living Translation offers a slightly different interpretation than the New International Version just listed.

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.  If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."  ~ 1 John 4:18 (NLT)

Fear is a warning sign that indicates I've not fully experienced God's perfect love.  It isn't proof that I'm hopeless for not making myself perfect.  

The section in this chapter about loving myself was really hard!  "God's command to love ourselves recognizes that the degree to which we love (or don't love) ourselves profoundly influences our ability to love others.  We can't give away what we don't have.  If we're full of self-hatred, we can't give love.  If we're full of fear, we can't give respect.  We can give only what we have."

So many days I look in a mirror at myself and I feel like I don't know who the person in the mirror is.  When did I gain the muffin top, the wrinkles on my face, and the gray hairs that are starting to peek out?  How has time gone by so quickly that I don't recognize that it's me in the mirror?  Why is it so hard to love myself when I know that God loves me so much and that I feel so much love toward others.  I have always been told I can't love anyone until I love myself.  Deep down, I think I love myself and that is why I feel and experience love with my family and friends.


I've been known in years past to put on a mask and not let others know who I really am.  Today I can tell you that I am not hiding behind the mask anymore.  God is helping me to heal from the past and experience His real love.  Below I am sharing a graphic that lists ten ways for each of us to love.  I encourage you to look up the verses included.  Never forget that there is always someone who loves you, even if you don't feel like loving yourself.  i encourage you though to work on loving yourself.  I am a work in progress and I know that He loves me.

Please take a moment and check out Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory's new book The Cure for the "Perfect" Life.  You'll be glad you did.

Always remember that God is love.

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."  ~ 1 John 4:16 (KJV)

Fear: The Main Force of Try-Harder Living

Do you ever fill your calendar too full?  I know I have.  In The Cure for the "Perfect" Life Kathi and Cheri talk about fear.  

They state:

"I was afraid of not being enough.  I couldn't figure out how to be more.  But I could do more.  And I could get more."

"But no matter how much money I spent, I never bought enough to make me feel like I was enough.  Instead, my ever-growing collections silently mocked me, highlighting my failures to become good enough as a wife, mother, and woman."

"I had two mutually exclusive identities: the ideal one in my head and the real one I was living day to day.  I didn't see how different they were.  Nor did I recognize the damage my fear-driven choices were causing."

Fear is a bully.  It picks at us making us feel unworthy of what God wants for us.  The ladies go on to say:

"The Try-Harder Living bullies demand that we live according to priorities that we don't really believe in, and they cause us to violate the values we do.  When we let them be our guides, they lead us off course, straight into deep, destructive behavioral ruts.  Once in, we don't realize that we should get out."

God doesn't want us to fear man or anything involving man.  The bible states we should fear God, not man.


"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."  ~Matthew 10:28 (NIV)

Fear does not come from God.  It comes from the deceiver.  Have you ever been in a position where fear overtook you and you couldn't move?  Maybe your knees shook or you started to sweat profusely.  Fear affects us all in different ways.  When my husband is out of town for business I do a lot of praying and sleep a lot lighter.  I think I could hear a pin drop during the night.  During the day our schedules are usually pretty busy but as night falls and we settle down for the night my mind feels like it is playing tricks on me though I think Satan is just having fun with me.  God allows these things so we will learn to depend on Him for our strength.

4 Universal Fears

1. Fear of Pain. Pain includes physical and emotional, actual and anticipated, my own and others'.  
2. Fear of Loss.  The threat of loss permeates our lives.  Most obvious is death: losing my own life or losing someone I love.  Loss of a dream can feel like a small death.
3. Fear of Blame.  "It's all your fault!" is the clarion call of blame.  Guilt and shame typically come along with blame.
4. Fear of Shame.  Shame is the sense that I am not worthy of love and belonging.  Shame tells me that not only am I alone in this world; I deserve to be left alone.  I am simultaneously "too much" and "not enough"; I am defective.  I haven't just made a mistake; I am a mistake.

"Fear enslaves us to the bullies, compelling us to behave according to their beliefs instead of our stated values."

Wow!  I could relate to so many examples of these universal fears.  They say that many people fear speaking in front of a crowd more than death.  Which do you fear more?  Both are quite scary to me.  I have spoken in front of church quite a few times now but for only short periods of times.  My hands sweat, my voice quivers, and my legs feel like rubber beneath me.  It takes so much to just stay on my feet.

Right now I have friends that are fighting for their children who are in other countries waiting to come home to the United States but the governments of those countries are not allowing them to leave their countries or its government is changing the laws making it harder.  Whether you are fighting for another person's life, learning to accept a hard diagnosis, or watching a loved one slip away...it is scary!  Fear overpowers us.  Tonight I pray that whoever reads this will remember that God is always with us and we don't need to be afraid.

Procrastination

"Procrastination is a master of misdirection."  That's how Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory start off chapter 4 of their book The Cure for the "Perfect" Life.  They go on to say: "Procractination is the practice of doing tasks that are less urgent but more fun before doing things that are more urgent but less fun."  

 Dictionary.com defines it like this:

Are you a procrastinator?  I know I have been at times.  Sitting down at the computer shows how much of a procrastinator I can be some days.  Here's an example of a procrastinator's day.

Maybe this has never happened to you but it has to me.  I can get up thinking I will get everything done on my to do list and then I think of one more thing I'd like to check online before I get up to start a load of laundry or make lunch or ...the list could go on and on.  Before I know it, we've passed lunch and it is almost time for my husband to come home from work.  What have  I accomplished?  Absolutely nothing of value.  Just yesterday I was going to prepare a document to take with me for the girls in my summer bible study.  It was a simple get to know you questionnaire.  We met at 3:30, I pulled the papers off the printer at 3:20.  I still had to get my daughters out the door and get there on time.  As a leader, shouldn't I be early to accept guests as they come?  Yes, I was on time but I had a week to complete this.  I guess I procrastinated.

Kathi and Cheri say: "When we procrastinate, we tend to do what we've always done and get the same results we've always gotten.  This means we're not growing."  I don't know about you but I want to grow.  I want to grow in my spiritual life and grow closer to God.

The last thing I want is for my daughters to become procrastinators.  It can be a very bad thing, especially when you have a paper to write or a project to complete.  There were definitely a few times while I was in school that I waited until Sunday evening to complete my homework and projects.  We have one very big disadvantage in our small town when we procrastinate.  The stores that stock anything we might need for our projects close early.  I've already experienced procrastination with my daughters and hope it doesn't become a habit for them.  It's definitely something we will need to start working on during the next school year.

Today I may look like a procrastinator because I am putting off housework and laundry to spend the afternoon with my girls at the county fair.  Time spent with my girls has been an excuse for why things haven't gotten done in the past.  Now I don't look at spending time with them as an excuse to not get something done.  Today I look at it as quality time where we make memories.  It is priceless time together that I will never regret.  Kids grow up in the blink of an eye and I don't want to miss a thing.  Go and make memories with your families.  Have a blessed day!

Performancism

What is performancism?  Honestly I had not heard the term before I started reading The Cure for the "Perfect" Life.  In Kathi and Cheri's book it is defined like this.

"Performancism is not the same things as a strong work ethic.  Nor is practicing a skill to mastery.  Just as workaholism is not merely working hard but an actual addiction to work, Performancism is a compulsive, insatiable craving for achievement."

A compulsive, insatiable craving for achievement...Wow!  That leads to another quote that left me wowed.

"Not only does Performancism cause us to neglect important relationships with people, but it distorts our most important relationship: with God"

They go on to say:

"Performancism tells us that performance will result in love.  

That's backward.

Love always leads us to take action.  But performance, on its own, can't produce love."

This is where I think performancism can be linked with people-pleasing.  Many times we perform to please others.  We make our calendars too full and our family thinks we're crazy.  They stated that performance can't produce love.  It can't produce friendship either.  If we're going to do things for our families, church body, or friends...it has to be done with the right intentions.  Do it to store up treasures in heaven but not on this earth.

Matthew 6:19-21New King James Version (NKJV)

Lay Up Treasures in Heaven

19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

People-Pleasing

Are you a people-pleaser?  I'm a recovering people-pleaser.  If you are it's okay.  I'm glad you are here!  If you aren't I'm so happy you are here too!  If you stopped by yesterday you know that I started reading Kathi and Cheri's book The Cure for the Perfect Life: 12 Ways to Stop Trying Harder and Start Living Braver.  Today I'm going to discuss chapter 2.

"People-Pleasing is not the same thing as love; in fact, in many cases it is a major cause of the erosion of love.  Nor is People-Pleasing the same thing as care, compassion, sympathy, or empathy."  The book goes on to say...

People-Pleasing involves:

• putting the wants of others above one's own needs
• avoiding conflict
• basing self-worth on others' reactions
• feeling trapped, often to the point of martyrdom, by others' needs
• and keeping silent about one's own needs, wants, and opinions

Do you ever feel like you are willing to do so much more for others than they are willing to do for you?  I love doing things for others but I have to learn when to say no.  Being willing to help others out has brought me to burnout more than once and I've felt used by them.  

I would much rather people like me because I'm me.  How about you?

This last picture really made me think.  What were we put on this earth for?  Was it to please people or to please God?  I believe it was to please God.  I believe we are here to bring honor and glory to the One who created us in our mother's wombs.  I'm ready to focus on pleasing Him instead of people.  Are you?  

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 139.  God has been speaking to me so much through the verses in this chapter over the past few years.  Here are a few of my favorite verses.

Psalm 139:13-18 (NIV)

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

I hope you know that He created us and that all of us are so special to Him.

A New Week

It's Sunday.  We had a great sermon at church and then my amazing husband smoked a chicken and some delicious ribs for supper.  Yum!  

Sundays are a day of rest in our home.  We all enjoy our weekends so we can be together.  Today was a very warm day for us.  It was almost 90 degrees.  We've been having highs in the 60s and 70s so this was quite warm.  My favorite part of today was watching my daughters be kids.  They went outside in their swimsuits and turned on the water and sprayed each other.  Our outside water only has one temperature.  It's quite cold but on a day like today I'm sure it felt good.  While they played, my husband mowed the lawn and I was working on getting some cleaning done and some baking.  Thank you God for air conditioning!  The anticipation of fresh caramel rolls was in the air.  My youngest daughter kept asking when they would be ready to eat.  To all of our amusement, we ended up with caramel roll bites.  You see, the bread dough had been in the freezer for what must have been too long.  The dough didn't rise but we enjoyed every bite anyway.  

Things in life don't always turn out how we want them to but we make the best of them.  We don't need to strive for perfection.  Besides, we can't be perfect on this side of Heaven.  We don't need to be perfect.  We just need to be who God created us to be.

Do you struggle with the perfectionism bully?  I know I do from time to time.  When my daughter folds the laundry but not the way I like it or loads the dishwasher but not the way my husband or I like it and we go and "fix" it.  Maybe you are the type that will go to a friend's home and you see a picture on the wall that's crooked.  If you can't just let it be and you have to straighten it you might struggle with the perfectionism bully.  

Currently I am reading a book that is releasing August 1st.  It is titled The Cure for the "Perfect" Life: 12 Ways to Stop Trying Harder and Start Living Braver.  Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory are very down to earth and willing to share so much about their try-hard living.  I will be doing some blog posts regarding this book over the next few days.  Please follow the link and check their book out.

A Fresh Start

I started this blog originally in May of 2011.  I meant to use it as my online journal and to keep myself accountable.  I didn't make it for too long.  The title to my blog used to be called...Finding Myself.  Have you ever lost who you are?  How about who you are in Jesus?  He says we are His children.  He loves us unconditionally.  I decided to change my blog title after I found this graphic.

It really made me think.  Where do we get our identities?  Growing up I was always Hal's daughter, when I married I became Greg's wife, and after I had my girls I was known as their mom.  Somewhere I felt like I lost my identity but I didn't.  I just want to become a better me.  I am working on changing myself from the inside out and I know that God has an amazing plan for me!  Then I found this graphic.  I love it!

I just want to discover who God created me to be.  I want to listen to His voice and do what He wants me to do.  What about you?   Do you know who God created you to be?